hmmm hate to sound like my mother, but .NOoOOOOooooooo damn way is my 11 year old getting her nose peirced! nuhh uhh over my dead body.
I'm scared that this is the begining of the end.
How old would you allow your children to be before they began putting extra holes in their otherwise flawless regions, or tattooos? I can't help but mutter under my breath, over my dead body will you be putting any such thing in your nose belly button, etc...etc... under my roof young lady.
They both paid to have their ears peirced at tattoo shops, Everyone in our household has tattoos and my roommates have pretty much everything covered as far as peircings, so it's not like it's not coming to them honestly. We have friends who spend time in India and came back with their daughters nose pierced.. her reasoning was "everyone was doing it, and it looks cool" , at which time i spat hot chocolate all over the dashboard and almost choked mysyelf laughing so hard.... good lord did I use that excuse?
We have a pretty liberal household, My roomates are a married gay couple, I'm singleand bisexual, most of my roommates have been either lesbians or general freaks, so we tend to maintain an open forum to ask anything. When this came up it turned into world war three, and it did come down to me saying, "because I said so, so drop it ! " I almost smacked myself.
I'm scared that this is the begining of the end.
How old would you allow your children to be before they began putting extra holes in their otherwise flawless regions, or tattooos? I can't help but mutter under my breath, over my dead body will you be putting any such thing in your nose belly button, etc...etc... under my roof young lady.
They both paid to have their ears peirced at tattoo shops, Everyone in our household has tattoos and my roommates have pretty much everything covered as far as peircings, so it's not like it's not coming to them honestly. We have friends who spend time in India and came back with their daughters nose pierced.. her reasoning was "everyone was doing it, and it looks cool" , at which time i spat hot chocolate all over the dashboard and almost choked mysyelf laughing so hard.... good lord did I use that excuse?
We have a pretty liberal household, My roomates are a married gay couple, I'm singleand bisexual, most of my roommates have been either lesbians or general freaks, so we tend to maintain an open forum to ask anything. When this came up it turned into world war three, and it did come down to me saying, "because I said so, so drop it ! " I almost smacked myself.
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Re: getting pierced.
Tue, November 28, 2006 - 6:36 PMDefault to the law. Most piercing shops want ID for 18 or 21, tell your daughter she can get her nose pierced then. Styles change. She can wear the magnetic kind now if she really wants to piss you off. ;-) -
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Unsu...
Re: getting pierced.
Tue, November 28, 2006 - 7:17 PMSorry I always forget to clarify that I'm not in the U.S All you need here is a letter of permission from a parent. they can get peirced as early as twelve.
hee hee I like the magnetic idea though. thanks.
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Re: getting pierced.
Wed, November 29, 2006 - 6:14 AMjust went thru that with my 16 yo. except mine was Dumb enough, and yes, i mean dumb! to do it himself.
i told him that he had to wait til he was 18 because, um, well, thats the law. and any piercer worth anything wouldnt do it til he was 18. so he bought whatever from his friend and did his lip. (shakes head)
i'm still torn about what to do. we are a VERY liberal/open minded household, with the hubby and i both having piercings and tattoos.
its just that he totally disobeyed. i guess that was the only thing he could find to rebel with, since he has such a good life, lol...... -
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Unsu...
Re: getting pierced.
Wed, November 29, 2006 - 8:56 AMbahhh, I know what you mean. The life my girls have compared to the own that I grew through is so completely different. I don't know where my mom wasm, but there would be no chance of my girls getting a hold of gun powder and explosives. Neither have broken any limbs, twisted yes but by the time I was the older ones age i had defenitely had my share of broken bones, my nose atleast twice by then, my collar bone, shattered my knee cap, most of my toes, good lord. -
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Unsu...
Re: getting pierced.
Wed, November 29, 2006 - 8:57 AMhence me starting all of my bedtimes stories with, "when I was a little boy......."
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Re: getting pierced.
Sat, December 2, 2006 - 11:28 PMMaybe you could explain to her that body art is a form of self expression that your family takes seriously, that it comes with a certain stigma since it is not the norm, and when she's old enough to have a better understanding, when it means more than being cool, then she can get one.
PS, I noticed you're in Guam....I grew up on Kwajalein, soak up some rays for me. -
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Re: getting pierced.
Thu, December 14, 2006 - 8:50 AMGood advice, Della!
Ultimately, it is her body and she will do with it what she pleases... Although I understand that you don't want her to have regrets for something when she did when she was too "young and foolish". -
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Unsu...
Re: getting pierced.
Thu, December 14, 2006 - 10:56 AMUltimately, it is her body and she will do with it what she pleases....
that statement is one that makes me curl my lips into my gums and bite my tingue and smile.
although i respect that notion..... I believe that it comes with a certain amount of maturity, not the maturity of an 11 year old but one of someone a tad bit older, it's a personal thing and one that I know that she will have to face on many levels, it seems to have dropped to the way side and I know that she'll see this as another phase of growing up, it is well accepted here to have your children express themselves through body piercing and tattoo's and I'm sure she'll be sporting something at some point, but for now I really want her to stay with the holes she has and the blank canvas so she doesn't make any rash decisions. As the rule stands inour house you can swear a blue streak when you start paying your own bills and so it should perhaps do the same with getting the piercings, we'll talk again when she get her first real job and see how she feels about it then, with my luck it'll be at a tatto parlour as a piercer.... :) -
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Re: getting pierced.
Fri, December 15, 2006 - 5:39 AMIt sounds like I might be in the minority on this one. I have told my nine year old, who has asked repeatedly when she can color her hair, that she can do it when she's 13. Now this is hair color, mind you. We haven't had the tattoo/piercing conversation yet. I have tattoos and plan to get a couple piercings when I'm done breastfeeding my last baby.
In my opinion, I think it depends on the child and their level of maturity, as well as how permanent the alteration is. Are they responsible enough to take proper care of a piercing? Are they capable of removing it if needed for a job, etc. (While I've never liked the idea of removing a form of self-expression for a job, I can accept that sometimes it's necessary to be respectful of a "professional" environment, despite my personal opinions.)
Tattoos being more permanent, I'd say 16-18, again depending on the maturity of the teen, and my bigger concern there would be that they may later regret what they chose, as they're likely to grow out of it. I'd personally be emphasizing that to my daughter. I didn't get my first tattoo until I was 23 years old, because I wanted to be sure I chose something that would (hopefully) always be a part of who I am, not a representation of a temporary stage or state of mind. I ended up with a Celtic knot because it reflects my heritage, which will always be a part of who I am, regardless of how I mature and grow.
I agree that ultimately, it's her body and she will do with it as she pleases. Just like the choice to have sex, I figure, it will ultimately be up to her because it's not my body, but I will do my best to guide the situation to make that decision as safe and responsible a choice as possible.
Trin -
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Re: getting pierced.
Thu, December 28, 2006 - 11:20 PMWell, from a purely mechanical standpoint, is it even recommended for a kid that age to be getting a cartilage piercing? She's not done growing, where is that piercing going to end up? Seems like a bad idea. Plus all the care, and the total lack of fiddling that you have to do with that type of piercing. First time I had my nose pierced I fiddled with it a bit (couldn't help myself!) and it made a big ugly lump. I had to take it out and let it calm down over about a month or so. Then I got it redone and got it caught on a sweater, but managed to make it to the piercer's to get it back in. Second time I wasn't so lucky, it was 10 at night and I got it snagged on a towel. Just left it out after that. :p
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Re: getting pierced.
Fri, December 29, 2006 - 2:56 PMI sort of agree with Trinity on this issue. My mom is just barely considered liberal or open-minded (she's gotten better since I was a teenager). She never had a problem with me wanting to dye my hair as a kid. She even died it for me. At first she started out with just a subtle change- from blonde to strawberry blonde, so see how I would take it. Then a few weeks later I died my hair dark red- it didn't look good on me, but she just laughed and said it'll fade over time.
My mom is mormon, so she was always against getting tattoos or piercings. But when I turned 18 I got my belly button pierced and she had no problem with it, and even thought it looked pretty cute. I haven't gotten a tattoo yet, but my little sister did when she turned 18 and she didn't really say much about it to her or I. Now, my brother is 16 and has tattoos that are crappy, and lots of home-done face piercings.
I think if my child were to do it anyway, I'd rather them get something that wasn't crappy and potentially dangerous. I believe there is a huge maturity difference between the ages of 11 and 16 though.
As far as I know in the US you have to have your parent with you to get a tat or piercing. -
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Re: getting pierced.
Sat, December 30, 2006 - 5:07 AMI'm with trinity on this one. I dont see what the big deal is with a nose pierce. I have always let my children do what they wanted,- since what they wanted was not too radical,- so when my little girl wanted shaved sides at the age of 5 she got them.. even though it looked ridiculous with her curly top!!
a nose pierce is such a subtle thing, I dont quite see why that should matter. She just wants to emulate her family, which is healthy and unifying actually. She is not wanting it out of rebellion.. which I think is the part that could lead to nuisance decisions.
When I was 15, back in the dark ages, there were only indians and africans with nose piercings.. and I went and had one done by a hippie market trader, who enjoyed my little rebellion. (I didnt get my ears pierced until I was 28 however..!). It was so radical in switzerland then, that many believed that the stud was glued on, including my mother. t was good for me to make a statement about being outside the norm, and it helped me cope with other situations, where I wanted to learn to distance myself from things that went on.
You live in an unusual family set up, and your daughter is starting to notice it, and wants to signal to her peers that this is a good thing, and not shameful or pointless,- and a little nose pierce might help her find her own identity within this special set up.
I have always just taken out my pierce of job interviews, and those that noticed my little extra hole, appreciated my gesture to fit in. I would never attempt to take on a job in a really square work environment, pierce or no pierce, I wouldnt last long anyhow..
I would let her, to support her developing social awareness
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biker brat here
Wed, March 14, 2007 - 1:45 AMthis might help for a bit of a perspective: I was raised surrounded by hells angels. My dad hated piercings (despite his crappy tats) and I realized it AFTER I pierced my nose at 14. I still love it though.
Here's the thing: We made a deal. When I could show that I was responsible enough to take care of a tat or piercing or anything else permenant, HE would take me to the BEST and pay for it. But I had to EARN it by showing my RESPONSIBILITY.
It worked.
I still don't have a tat 'cause I really thought about it and I want something custom and amazing (read: expensive) I made the same deal with my daughter and its working. She knows she has the option eventually but she has to show she can handle it. It's a rite of passage, not a fashon statement. She's seven and just earning her ear piercings but planning tats already. (her body so I wanted it to be her choice) She won't get any till she's old enough and mature enough not to regret it later.
For our freaky fam it was never an age thing, it was a "look around at that terrible tat, piercing, scar" scenario and "I want to protect you from that". A few close looks at some of those tats and piercings set me straight and got me plotting out the best for my beautiful body to stay MY beautiful body. I didn't feel downgraded or restricted by my age, I felt like I was respected enough to be guided through the decision making process 'cause it wasn't about my age when we made the deal.
Hope this helps you out. -
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Re: biker brat here
Tue, June 3, 2008 - 10:34 AMthis thread is old but we are going a similar way as HolyJo
My kids 9 though and still hasn't earned the ear piercings, because I told her she has to take a shower everyday for a while and that has yet to happen.
I died her hair pink but only the tips because bleach is bad for your skin and can cause real problems she can risk herself when she's older and I told her so. Kids at her school have pink and purpke hair though even in kindergarten so it's different there than most places. And a very different set of circumstances than when I did mine.
By the way I didn't even ask first. Also pierced the nose with a safety pin either two or three times, did the bellybutton with a thumbtack, and have tattoos I gave myself with a pin and india ink in the school cafeteria and on my back porch all around age 14. There are ways to get all these things if you are determined with or without permission, safe or unsafe. If a parent is choosing to be really strict about these things they ought to at least be aware of it and think about both how determined,aka stubborn, and how resourceful their kid is. I suggest making a deal so they feel that their thoughts about the subject are respected and will be more likely to respect yours.
Granted I haven't dealt with a teenager yet and I have a feeling we won't have too many issues with this sort of thing as far as she goes anyway.
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