Well, My 1st question is do YOU think your daughter has ODD. I think that ODD is the new ADD. Everyone is getting a diagnosis by the schools of one or the other.

I'd be pretty pissed that the school went ahead without my consent and contacted a family councelling center.

All that said, when my parents took me to a therapist when they were getting divorced (I was 8) they told me that they had someone they wanted me to talk to. I wasn't in trouble he just wanted to talk to me, and they thought it would be a good idea of I did.

I agree with you bats,- its weird to ask your child to just walk into a strangers place and "visit", without telling what for or why you are there.

I was asked to go to do "maths" tutoring when my parents got divorced. I loved going, especially since we often put the maths aside and did interesting things like draw each member of my family as an animal.. and such. I loved the trust I had with the tutor, and shared openly with him..- only to find out later that he told all to my mom,- and in fact it was all a lie, and he was actually my psychotherapist. it ruined my trust in any therapist, and I felt betrayed and lied to by all. Not really the lesson or help I was supposd to get.

I have an Aspergers Syndrom daughter, who has also dyslexia and other labels.. I always tried to see the teachers need to label as a way to find help,- and humour them if they saw it as some kind of big deal. I trusted that my daughter is fine,- with or without label, and I always told her that she was just different,- and different is cool and desireable actually. I told her that the therapy is there for her.. therapists arent gods, they are human and may get things wrong too, but it was worth a shot to try and glean a deeper understanding of oneself. Take it all with a pinch of salt,-

for you bats, I want to give to you that your daughter is fine,- she will be alright!- actually most of the big achievers are oddballs and didnt fit the standard mold, and that it can be a good sign if she is not just "normal". You need to come to terms with this "diagnosis", realise that it is just an aid for teachers and carers to understand certain behaviours and it is not all and the sum of who your daughter is. It is her environment trying to understand and deal with her particular character.
I'd keep an eye on the "experts", dont let them be the ones having the last word,- but listen to their views and tips,- they just might come in handy here and there... :-)
Dont worry!- and if you manage to stay cool, then your daughter will too, I'm sure.

If you think this is the right step to take with her then just be honest with her. Just tell her that everyone needs someone to talk to and you thought she might enjoy talking to_________. Just make it simple and to the point.

i just want to say thank you all for your advise. i truly appreciate it. i told my daughter this morning. i told her that on thursday her, mommy & daddy were going to the city & talk to Gwen. i told her that i know she's not happy about getting sent to the principals office & getting in trouble all the time so Gwen is going to help the 3 of us come up with some good ideas on how we can all work together to help her out. she got a little nervous & asked me what the visit would ential. i told her that it would largely be all of us talking together & that she could tell Gwen what she's thinking and feeling. she asked if we were doing this because she was in trouble. i told her that this isn't a punishment & she's not in trouble, but it's to help her so she gets in less trouble in the future. then she asked if she could tell Gwen anything & if she would get in trouble for telling Gwen the things that she's done (that got her in trouble in school) & i told her of course not. she relaxed a little bit. but i'm sure more questions will come as the week progresses. i just really emphasised that this isn't a punishment & she was ok with that. so thank you so much everyone! i really am very grateful for the support!

Just thought I would add some personal observation which may be helpful. I read a study recently that children with ADD were found to have eased symptoms when out in nature. Check out these articles for reference:

www.americanforests.org/produc...ves.php

dnr.wi.gov/org/caer/ce/...82205ner1.htm

I've also noticed with my little one drastic changes in behavior depending on whether he's indoors or outdoors. People who have also looked after him noted his defiant behavior decreases 90% when he's playing outside.

I personally believe many children simply aren't meant to be cooped up in a classroom, and sitting at that, for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. Then get sent home to sit even longer to do homework. If this seems to resonate with you regarding your daughter, maybe she could be helped by finding a school for her which involves a lot of outdoor time... like a farming and horticulture program. I know there's a Waldorf school in the Bay Area that has this type of focus...don't know where you live but it might be worth checking out if any such thing is available in your area.

today my daughter starts taking Adderall. her behavior was ok after the move for a while, but it's been escalating to the point where she got kicked out of her daycare. this is th 3rd one she's been kicked out of.

her therapist recomended meds as did her doctor. so we're starting by treating the adhd symptoms. however the doctor says that this is just the beginning, and if the meds work, then they will treat *just* the adhd. she thinks my daughter might be bi-polar or have oposisitional defiance disorder, and if that's the case then she's going to refer us to a specialist. so this begins the trial and error phase.

has anyone else had any experience with Adderall?